Congratulations to the Worst Person I know! (Welcome to LinkedIn)

I am the worst person I know. By far. Honestly though, I’m really lucky to be such a shithead surrounded by such cool people.

It’s not always easy being green, but during moments of honesty; I’m really happy to be the worst person I know. 

I joined LinkedIn and I don’t know what that means. Let me just clarify that I don’t think it’s cute, charming or funny at all to not understand technology. If I hear any more “tweeter, or whatever you call it” jokes, I’m going to explode. I’m not proud of the fact that I was so far behind the LinkedIn train and I’m not super stoked about not knowing what the point of it is, but I am happy to have another reminder of how amazing the people in my life are. Full confession: I definitely didn’t know what some of my (ahem…best) friends do for work, so it was good to get that in virtual writing. The thing is, my friends are so busy leading amazing personal lives, I never even hear about how awesome they are professionally. Connection after connection was engineer, lawyer, CEO, fancy-pants and world-savers. Each connection further reassured my suspicions that I am lagging behind in life. 

It can be difficult being the worst person you know. I struggle sometimes. Seeing Facebook posts about friends who constantly jump off boulders and into crystal-clear blue waters, friends who live in other countries, friends who not only cook dinner every night, but it looks good enough that it only needs one Instagram filter; it can be taxing. Friends with nice homes, cute kids, cars that you imagine more than 50% of the windows work! Friends that don’t even post on Facebook because they don’t effin’ care, they are just tagged in other people’s pictures and they never look like they have downs syndrome. It’s a hard-knock life ya’ll. My friends are freaking amazing. 

It has also taken me a long time to get to the point where I realize how lucky I am to be the worst person I know. Jealousy is an ugly bitch, but I know her pretty well. I played the comparison game in a bad way for a long time. Sure, I still do it without thinking from time to time. I spent many years constantly wondering why I was dealt a bad hand. Why other people, born around the same time as I was, had accomplished so much more than I have and feeling bitter about my “misfortune.” I acted like life is a measuring stick “I’m at 27 and don’t have the following…” “At 29 I should already have…” and that measuring stick is never good news. So I had to change my measure. 

Here’s why that’s great for the most important person in the world to me…ME (blogger=narcissist. Always.) and why I hope you, too, might be the bottom feeder of your circle: you are an average of the people that surround you. If my friends and I are the European Union, I am totes Slovakia or some other silly country that is benefiting BIG TIME by the success of my peers. The women who surround me are all fucking powerhouses, but nice. They are beautiful, funny, smart, had LinkedIn a long time ago, eat some spicy food (but not too much), always have stamps, file their own taxes, don’t laugh-spit ever, recycle, freaking COMPOST and other habits that I’m happy to let trickle-down to me. The best part is: I benefit from their achievements! I get more coins on LinkedIn for having them as friends(?) and I am not ok with settling for less in life. I am in a constant state of “googling compost tomorrow, seriously” and other self-improvement resolutions inspired by the people in my life. I see what life can be, where decisions can lead and what life is like when you don’t get parking tickets on the reg. I go to fancy house parties and I don’t have a house.  Or a home.  Also, sometimes they work for places and I get free things like stickers and snacks!

So please, dear reader, go out and be awesome so I can reap the benefits! Viva Slovakia!


Also, change your clocks for Daylight Savings this weekend. Add or subtract an hour. I don’t know. 

2 responses to “Congratulations to the Worst Person I know! (Welcome to LinkedIn)

  1. Amy I love your writing. You are a very special person to everyone!!!! I can’t believe all your travels and you are only 29!!! Choose what you want to do in life and live it to the fullest. I always wanted to raise children and I am so glad to be able to do it!!!!

  2. YOU……………..ARE A HERO……filled with strength, bravery and intelligence! Plus!! You make me laugh! You’re all this wrapped up in a beautiful package!

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