On Being an Introvert

I am an introvert weirdo, but you are reading my blog so what does that say about you?

This was on my wall, each pin is a parent on the program. It really under represents the ghetto.

I spent my childhood huddled in the darkest corner of my room mutilating my toys alone and calling it “science.” Being alone has been my thing for as long as I can remember, but the past couple of days has made me wonder what happened to that twisted little weirdo. I have been missing my (now former) co workers and my need for human contact has been obvious to anyone stupid enough to call me, as a quick phone call turns into 20 minutes of stories about the nothing that I have been doing for the past few days. Working for WIC, the human contact was raw; it was constant; there was no option of keeping your door closed and interacting with people less on certain days. The parents that I worked with came from all walks of life. I had parents from all over the world and I never knew what to expect in an appointment, but it could be pretty ghetto at times. In fact, ghetto stopped surprising me.

(The following isn’t a direct quote, it is a generalization. There are few things that I take seriously, but HIPAA is one of them.)

“I missed the last appointment ‘cause I hadda go to court”

“Mmm hmm, how many cups of juice is Nevaeh* getting every day?”

“Like 7 cups, but it was more last week ’cause my fiance got shot. It was on the news.”

“Jesus! More than 7 cups of juice!?”

“This guy was stalking me and so my fiance went after him with a bat and the guy shot him. It’s jacked up. Even my cousin said it was messed up and he’s cousins with the dude that shot my fiance.”

“You’ve got to cut back on the juice”

“Huh! She’s crazy”

*Side note on Nevaeh, she is the ubiquitous WIC child. Nevaeh is one of the most commonly heard names at WIC, she is “Heaven” spelled backwards. Because things are better when spelled backwards.

And so were my days: counseling parents on offering better foods when their ghetto lifestyles offer a far more pressing threat.

Beyond the clients, my co workers were so freaking cool. These women are really funny. Some of them are the most offensively funny women I have ever met. They are endlessly interesting and intelligent people. I wanted to talk to them, I wanted to laugh with them and spend my days with them, but it took me six months of spending lunch alone to ease into talking people through the lunch break on top of the all-day interactions I already had.

This is only day three of actual unemployment and my time has been filled with moving my belongings to storage with my grandparents, but I have been so hungry for socialization that I hardly recognize myself anymore. In an attempt to make human contact and maintain my Spanish, I went to my first Spanish meetup in a very long time on Tuesday and it was awesome and bizarre. My former co workers were mostly native speakers of Spanish, so I was always the one struggling to keep up with conversation. I was surprised when in Tuesday’s group the non-native speakers were impressed with my experience with the language. One guy said in Spanish “You have a lot of Spanish. You talk fast. It is good for me…but it hurts my…body.” Never, in my wildest dreams, did I think that my Spanish would be good enough to make someone’s whole body hurt! That is a huge accomplishment and is definitely going on my resume.

It has only been three days and I am already signing up for any and every hangout opportunity that’s thrown at me. In an effort to have some more ghetto in my life I’m encouraging my friends to get all hopped up on Slurpees and try to get evicted for shit they didn’t do but their dumbass neighbor told the landlord they did.

I think this job has changed me as much as one can change. I think that the introvert in me is where introverts belong: half-dead in a ditch (kidding. Calm down.) While I might revert now and again, I will never go back to choosing to play alone. Luckily, I’m pretty much done moving out of my studio apartment. No more weirdo introvert time. I hope my hosts are prepared for some serious hanging out because it’s happening.

Thanks for the gear, Kirby!

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